
I always discuss how we all need to connect with our inner tree, defining the roots, the core, the limbs and the limbs from the limbs that grow in different directions and eventually have green leaves, changing leaves, falling leaves, and some trees whose leaves stay put and green throughout the seasons. We all have trees that we try to build with roots that are anchored and nourished by community and soil that helps our trees grow even when they are threatened by unforeseen tragedy and circumstances. We look to our roots and the soil to help keep our core of the tree, the trunk, strong. Recognizing that tornadoes, hurricanes, natural disasters, and unforeseen accidental disasters that are not in our control in the moment tear down limbs and parts of our tree that are so embedded in the stabilization and almost core of the tree, that the loss of a limb threatens the tree’s stability, core, and center. At times after a storm or a tragedy, when we see the destruction around us, it is all too much. But, we must not let any tree that is bent over and whose livelihood has been so threatened, to topple. The support and intricate network of the roots, nourishment of the surroundings (community as the soil) must help. Resilience and rebuilding of limbs, leaves, trees, and even a home does not mean going back to what once was. This is not possible. Resilience is being able to move forward, forgive and find the self-compassion to pause and grieve for what is lost and what will never be again, but then to redefine a what is fulfilling and what can be fulfilling. Fulfillment is not provided on a timeline. Resilience knows no start and no end, but it does know that it starts with loving kindness towards yourself and only then can this loving kindness, compassion, love and health emanate outwards from your limbs to others, rebuilding, redefining, remembering, never forgetting, but moving towards a new kind of fulfillment and joy. Joy does not mean that we forget. Joy means that we are resilient and accept that which we have no control of. As we move towards this new year (literally if you celebrate the Jewish New Year coming up in less than a month) and also if you are re-entering school, a job, or unchartered territory, remember to allow yourself grace to grieve and to not be your best version of yourself – whatever that may be (this is not an invitation for you to define that! That would be a bad exercise since versions of ourselves change every second), I hope that you will join me this year as I pave a new journey for myself and role with my family and community.

